Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare

THE INFERNAL DEVICES WILL NEVER STOP COMING

A net of shadows begins to tighten around the Shadowhunters of the London Institute. Mortmain plans to use his Infernal Devices, an army of pitiless automatons, to destroy the Shadowhunters. He needs only one last item to complete his plan: he needs Tessa Gray.

Charlotte Branwell, head of the London Institute, is desperate to find Mortmain before he strikes. But when Mortmain abducts Tessa, the boys who lay equal claim to her heart, Jem and Will, will do anything to save her. For though Tessa and Jem are now engaged, Will is as much in love with her as ever.

As those who love Tessa rally to rescue her from Mortmain’s clutches, Tessa realizes that the only person who can save her is herself. But can a single girl, even one who can command the power of angels, face down an entire army?


Rating: 3/5 Stars


“I am dramatic,” said Will.
-An Infernal Devices Summary.


My thoughts:

Aaaaaaand it’s finished, I completed the trilogy and… I’m not really sure how to feel. On the one hand, some things ended too perfect and “happily ever after” to my taste, on the other there were a couple of heartbreaking moments that brought me nearly to tears. 

I guess I’ll just rant as usual.

Tessa was, for some reason, more insufferable to me in this last book. I don’t like hating the heroines because… well it’s their stories! But there were so many moments in which I wanted to reach across the pages and slap Tessa. There were so many obvious things that she should have done, so many ways for the conflicts to end that would take little effort from her and yet ???????? why didn’t she do any of that stuff? Tessa has the power to transform into anybody/thing and instead of using it to her advantage (hello? Vampire strength??) she remains Tessa!! And when she does transform she somehow messes that up. Then we have moments when she stops being passive and makes a decision!... Only for it to be a very obviously wrong one.

What have I done? She thought as the automaton began to push her from the room. My God, what have I done?

I did not like how things went between her, Jem and Will. I’ve said it before, that for Tessa it seems like Jem is a second choice, someone who comes after Will and that was painfully clear in this last book. Every moment she would think of Will and forget about Jem.

And GOD! When Will and Tessa thought Jem was dead, the first thing they do is have sex?! HOW IS THAT GOING TO FIX ANYTHING?? I was horrified all throughout that scene “Are they gonna do it? Please don’t do it-Fuck, they did it”. Why don’t they just go and have sex right on top of Jem’s grave? I’m sure his body was still warm enough to keep them cozy, ugh

Cecily was Will’s younger sister and the very definition of an OC character. Her introduction at the end of Clockwork Prince made for an interesting cliffhanger, but her potential was soon wasted. Why was she in the story other than to be Gabriel Lightwood’s forced love interest? There’s no reasonable explanation on why she went to find Will; sure she wanted to bring him back home because she thought Shadowhunters had brain-washed him… but why now? Why, if she’s always thought this did she decide to come right at the end of the second book? Was one of their parents sick? Had she finally found evidence of something and that made up her mind? Basically what I’m asking is what is the catalyst of her decision? There is none, and that shows in the construction of her character. She added nothing to the plot other than even more gushing about Will.

Jem MY PRECIOUS BABY! God, he knew what Will and Tessa had done but forgave them because it hurt him too much. They don’t deserve you (okay maybe Will does) and I wish we had seen more of you other than in the epilogue. My issue with the romance is that it keeps us readers from knowing more about the characters. I for one, would have loved to know more about Jem and Will as well as their friendship, but I did not care how thorn Tessa was between the two of them. Take the romance out of the equation and this could have been great (at least for me).

Alas, the trilogy has come to a conclusion. I can’t say I’m completely satisfied because some things were too perfect and neatly wrapped up to be realistic (I hated that Tessa didn’t technically had to make a choice) but it was an ending that will satisfy people if they have loved the previous books. 

Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare

In the magical underworld of Victorian London, Tessa Gray has at last found safety with the Shadowhunters. But that safety proves fleeting when rogue forces in the Clave plot to see her protector, Charlotte, replaced as head of the Institute. If Charlotte loses her position, Tessa will be out on the street—and easy prey for the mysterious Magister, who wants to use Tessa’s powers for his own dark ends.

With the help of the handsome, self-destructive Will and the fiercely devoted Jem, Tessa discovers that the Magister’s war on the Shadowhunters is deeply personal. He blames them for a long-ago tragedy that shattered his life. To unravel the secrets of the past, the trio journeys from mist-shrouded Yorkshire to a manor house that holds untold horrors, from the slums of London to an enchanted ballroom where Tessa discovers that the truth of her parentage is more sinister than she had imagined. When they encounter a clockwork demon bearing a warning for Will, they realize that the Magister himself knows their every move—and that one of their own has betrayed them.

Tessa finds her heart drawn more and more to Jem, but her longing for Will, despite his dark moods, continues to unsettle her. But something is changing in Will—the wall he has built around himself is crumbling. Could finding the Magister free Will from his secrets and give Tessa the answers about who she is and what she was born to do?

As their dangerous search for the Magister and the truth leads the friends into peril, Tessa learns that when love and lies are mixed, they can corrupt even the purest heart.


Rating: 4/5 Stars

”Will,” Tessa said firmly. “Do you care more about the plan being enacted or about getting credit for it?”
Will pointed a finger at her.
“That,” he said. “The Second one.”

This second book was less about Mortmain and his automatons army, and more about the characters dealing with their own issues and personal lives. There will be a few spoilers from this book though, so be warned!

The Love Triangle of Doom (or) Reasons on Why Tessa Is an Idiot:

What had Will meant, coming to her room like that? Why had he shown her such sweetness when she knew that he despised her? And why, when she knew that he was the worst thing in the world for her, did sending him away seem like such a terrible mistake?

I always want to roll my eyes (or stab someone’s eyes, depends) when heroines do this. The guy treats them like crap, they are assholes to them but in very rare occasions they show kindness or a slight bit of interest and they go all “Oh, but if he hates me why does he occasionally treats me well?” BECAUSE he’s manipulating you honey! Oh yes, I know that this is not the case here and that Will pushes Tessa away because of the curse and blah, blah but shedoesn’t know that! If you look at any website or article about couple’s abuse, this manipulative behaviour is definitely on the list!

Honestly, there was absolutely no reason for Tessa to be hanging on to Will like that other than the author forcing the narrative so this insufferable behaviour kept happening for the sake of drama. Unless you had some sort of masochist complex, if someone treats you like crap and ignores you you’ll probably walk away from this person.

If the relationship had been developed more, then I would have bought up, maybe. But these two have been practically in love from the moment they met and even after months they barely know each other.

Give me more development and believable romance, dammit!

The Curse Was Really Dissapointing:

“You.”
The blueskinned demon blinked. All the demons stood stockstill, looking at one another. There must have been some agreement in place, Tessa thought, to keep them from attacking the humans at the party, but she did not like the way the wet red mouths were licking their lips.
“Er,” the demon Will had addressed said, in a surprisingly ordinary voice. “I don’t recall-That is, I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of your acquaintance?”

Okay, so we find out that the reason Will pushes people away but Jem is because he believed he had been cursed by a demon at the age of twelve, and that anybody who loved him would die so he made his best to try and pretend to be an asshole so people would feel no sympathy for him.

So Will gets Magnus help to find the demon and when they do… turns out there was no curse at all? The resolution to this conflict was sooo disappointing I mean, you had Will believe for five years that he had this horrible curse that meant nobody could ever love him or they would die, and when they finally find the demon it goes “Oh that? Lol I was just fucking with you there’s no curse.” So… there was nothing? I would have liked the result better if it had made some sense. Sure, twelve year old Will had no idea of the Shadowhunters world, but as he grew and learned, wouldn’t he have tried to find a way to break the curse? Wouldn’t he have researched about demons and realized that curses like that are really hard to make, especially when the demon was trapped and weak? Will should have been like a demon expert or something! And this really obvious result just never occur to him??

It made no sense!


Jessamine What the Heck??



I don’t know what I was expecting from jessamine’s character, she always seemed like a loose end. What was her part in the story? Her past was sad, yes, but her being so bitter and angry put a wall between her and the other characters and of all the people in the institute, I think she was the one readers knew the least.

But still… I don’t know, I had hopes for her I guess? Her hate for all Shadowhunter things was interesting, especially when she considers that being Shadowhunters was what got her family killed and how she doesn’t want to live in a world full of danger… but betray them?? And for that monster of Nate?? I honestly thought Jessamine would be smarter, but I guess she was so desperate to get away from the institute and have a “normal life” that she was willing to do anything.

In the end, and even though during both books I hated her more than anything, I did feel bad for her. And that scene at the end when the “diamond” of her ring breaks and she sees that not even that little thing was real? That was fricking heart-breaking.

Congratulations on Jessamine for calling out Tessa’s bullshit though:

“You are the one who does not understand love. ‘Oh, I cannot decide between Will and Jem. Whatever shall I do?’” she said in a highpitched voice, and Tessa flushed hotly.

Jem and Magnus Are Too Precious For This World:

For me the most painful part of this love triangle (other than Will moaning about his curse and Tessa moaning about Will being hot-and-cold) is the fact the Jem kind of flies under the radar. The story has made it clear that Tessa loves both, but the way the story is written it’s like Will is The Great Love of Tessa’s life. He’s the guy she can’t stop thinking about, the guy whose soul calls to her and whose skin sets her on fire and so on… But Jem? Despite saying that she loves them both it’s pretty clear that Tessa (and Cassandra Clare) prefers Will, and that breaks my heart because Jem is just so beautiful! He doesn’t deserve to be a second choice and I hate that he is.

Magnus is fantastic, and his outlook in life refreshing. I love him every time he’s on the page, however brief that may be.


Henry And Charlotte Are a Cute Break From All the Drama:

I was so happy when these two talked and realized they were both absolutely in love with each other. With Charlotte loving him but believing he had only married her because his father owed her father money, and with Henry loving her but believing the only reason she married him was because she needed a husband to run the institute, when they finally got that out of the way and found out they are expecting a baby was a cute moment that broke the tension in the teen’s love story drama.


The end came with a cliffhanger that keeps you hooked to the last book of the series, and apart from the love drama, Clockwork Prince has a good deal of mistery, suspense and funny moments to keep readers entertained.

Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare

In a time when Shadowhunters are barely winning the fight against the forces of darkness, one battle will change the course of history forever. Welcome to the Infernal Devices trilogy, a stunning and dangerous prequel to the New York Timesbestselling Mortal Instruments series.

The year is 1878. Tessa Gray descends into London’s dark supernatural underworld in search of her missing brother. She soon discovers that her only allies are the demon-slaying Shadowhunters—including Will and Jem, the mysterious boys she is attracted to. Soon they find themselves up against the Pandemonium Club, a secret organization of vampires, demons, warlocks, and humans. Equipped with a magical army of unstoppable clockwork creatures, the Club is out to rule the British Empire, and only Tessa and her allies can stop them...






Rating: 3/5 Stars


I bought this book in 2015 because after reading City of Bones and not really enjoying it, many friends told me to try this series deeming it to be a “better version of TMI” at least in their opinion! So I started reading it happily, but my problem was that while being on Tumblr I saw THE Mother of All Spoilers. Like, I’m not even kidding, a person wrote a blog post (thus forgetting that despite tags anybody who followed her would see it) and without knowing what it was I started to read and… that’s how I got spoiled for the entire series *face palm*

After that, I was so pissed I stopped reading but after almost two years (MAN does time fly?!) I’ve decided to pick it up again and do a binge-read of the series.

Now, comparing it to City of Bones I have to admit I enjoyed Clockwork Angel a lot better. Maybe it wasn’t a masterpiece for me, but it was entertaining and the writing has an addictive sort of quality that makes you want to keep reading… even though the characters sometimes leave a lot to be desired.

Tessa is our main character, she’s an American girl that after the death of her aunt goes to live with her brother Nathan in London. As soon as she arrives she’s kidnapped by Warlocks who want to sell her for a special power she didn’t even know she had. 
Admittedly, I liked Tessa better than Clary… but that’s not saying much because I really disliked that asshole.

They both have similar stories; a relative goes missing and they are thrown into a supernatural world they didn’t know it existed but that they’re part of, and both have special powers that set them apart from others. Personality wise they are also similar, and that’s a shame because they both have this weird superiority complex and are extremely judgy of everybody, always holding themselves on a higher ground.
I wasn’t exactly a fan, especially considering how Tessa was pretty much useless (I know I’m harsh, but can you say I’m wrong?) and yet everybody praised and loved her and stuff. She was the typical self-insert to live the story by. She’s also a book lover which is a huge WARNING ALERT for me. I know I must be pretty much alone with this, but whenever a main character loves reading I just have to roll my eyes. It’s just so… cliché? Like a cheap way to make the MC relatable to the audience, “my readers clearly like to read, so I’ll make my character a bookworm! They’ll love that!” but I can hardly ever connect with them because it doesn’t feel real. The way Tessa speaks about books feels like those fabricated posters “Live everyday as if it were your last!” that are sold by the bucket world-wide. She didn’t seem like a real book lover to me, simply a stereotype of it with no soul, like those fricken automatons.

Still, I tried hard not to see her through my standard because I know this is nineteen century and things were different back then. I can’t expect Tessa to just throw away everything she believed in and embrace this world because standards were different, and women especially were indoctrinated to think a certain way. I just didn’t see the appeal to her.

Will is the main love interest and one I’m not terribly fond of. I know, I know, EVERYBODY loves him but to me he was just… too much. Too snarky, too brooding and I know that there’s a story behind what he does, but I also know it’s convoluted and forced to make the “tension” between him and Tessa last for three books. Why does he even like Tessa? I mean, other than her being the lead?? The romance had little development and basically came out of nowhere, it just consisted of Will pushing Tessa and way and her being “drawn” to him despite everything because she’s kind of a masochist that, thanks to the century she lives in, thinks with a great deal of misogyny and believes that a man who treats a woman poorly is most likely in love with her (her words not mine).

Jem oh… my sweet Jem! You deserve better than being Tessa’s second choice, damn you Cassandra Clare!

The story in itself was good. I’m really curious about the Magister and who Tessa is, plus her role in this whole war against Shadowunters. It was also interesting seeing how this wasn’t black and white with the “Good” Nephilim fighting against the “evil” downworlders. Nephilim do think of themselves as superior and won’t even give downworlders positions in their council, despite that what the Council does is oversee the whole of the supernatural world! The characters certainly weren’t perfect and I liked that.

Overall, not perfect but really fun and entertaining. I recommend it for people who either loved or hated The Mortal Instruments, though beware because the characters can be quite similar!

The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee

Henry “Monty” Montague was born and bred to be a gentleman, but he was never one to be tamed. The finest boarding schools in England and the constant disapproval of his father haven’t been able to curb any of his roguish passions—not for gambling halls, late nights spent with a bottle of spirits, or waking up in the arms of women or men.

But as Monty embarks on his Grand Tour of Europe, his quest for a life filled with pleasure and vice is in danger of coming to an end. Not only does his father expect him to take over the family’s estate upon his return, but Monty is also nursing an impossible crush on his best friend and traveling companion, Percy.

Still it isn’t in Monty’s nature to give up. Even with his younger sister, Felicity, in tow, he vows to make this yearlong escapade one last hedonistic hurrah and flirt with Percy from Paris to Rome. But when one of Monty’s reckless decisions turns their trip abroad into a harrowing manhunt that spans across Europe, it calls into question everything he knows, including his relationship with the boy he adores.



RATING: ★★☆☆☆


Welcome to another episode of, “Mila Doesn’t Get Why This Book Has Such a Fricking High Rating!” today it comes in the buddy read version with the lovelies Victoria and BookishBoy!



So, I have to admit I don’t think I heard about this book before Victoria told me to buddy read it (thanks to college I have no clue on what’s been going on for the last three months in the bookish world) but I understand it’s become quite hyped and popular, and so far all the reviews I’ve seen are mostly four/five stars with very few negative ones. However, despite this promising approval from the Goodreads community, my experience with The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue was not so… let’s say, pleasant. 

The best way I can describe this book is like this:

You know those movies in which you have like, a cool assassins organization or spies or whatever. And there are super cool and capable people who have basically trained all of their lives to get to where they are, but for some God-forsaken twist of Hollywood magic they are not the main characters of the story, but rather a pasty, inconsequential average dude with no particular set of skills or ambition, maybe with some daddy issues (like, his father abandoned him when he was six but then turns out his father was a really famous spy and now the organization is after him because they want his super-awesome genes or shit) and the story is told from his boring, ignorant and rather annoying point of view. And even though the story is not so bad, you wonder why the hell was this bland-oatmeal of a man the main character and not one of the super fucking awesome secondary ones that could totally kick the guy’s ass.

Throw in some historical fiction stuff and you’ll have The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue.

Henry is our main character, he’s a young man with an abusive father who is going on a grand Tour throughout the continent with his best friend and secret crush, Percy a biracial that is going away for Law School at the end of the Tour and Felicity, Henry’s sister (who mutually hate each other).

Basically my main issue with this book was that the narration came from Henry, and he was just an unlikeable and boring character to read about. I was conflicted about this, because he does have a horrible relationship with his father, he beats him, calls him useless and Henry has endured this kind of abuse since he was a child. I felt bad for him, I really did and it’s not like I found his characterization to be unrealistic; it’s just that for all he’s been through it didn’t change the fact that he was also horrible, self-centered, selfish and incapable of caring about anyone without worrying about himself first and thisdoesn’t change at the end of the novel; if at least a bit toned down, he’s still the same unsavory fellow that started the novel.

”Oh, how tragic, you have to run an estate and be lord and have a good, rich, cozy life on your own terms.” 

All the time I was reading, I couldn’t stop being frustrated at him. It was fuck up after fuck up, and what bothered me the most was that he didn’t even care that the horrible things he did would affect the people around him most, and after he did all of those things he then had the nerve to be mad at them for HIM ruining things.

”You can behave the way you do and then be surprised when someone tells you so.”

His love for Percy was sweet, although he hurt him so SO much I honestly believe Percy could do better. I’m also saddened that what we know of him is all through Henry’s eyes, and he mostly focuses on how hot he is, but now that I’ve finished reading I realize that I know little of him other than a few anecdotes of them together and Percy’s illness.

He folds his arms. “So which is it-do you want me to be well to keep me from an asylum, or so you don’t have to deal with me being ill?”
“Does it matter?”

Who is Percy? What does he want other than to be free and happy with Percy? Now that I think about it, as cute as their chemistry was, we don’t really see Percy beyond how Henry sees him, and that is based on his attraction to him and how his illness affects Monty in how he views their relationship and how it serves him for his character development. Percy is hardly seen beyond his role as a token character for this story and Monty… and that sucks.

”This isn’t about us.”
“It’s always going to be about us.”
“No, you want this to be about you. You care about what happens to me because of what that would mean for you. You are the only thing that matters to you.

Felicity is a bit more well-rounded character, with her passion for medicine and strong personality but since the story is narrated by Monty and he can hardly think of anyone but himself, I really can’t say that I know her that much. That’s a shame because they were the most interesting characters and would have been much more fun as narrators.

”Do you know how horrid it feels to watch my brother get tossed out of the best boarding school in England, then get to travel the Continent as a reward, while I’m stuck behind, not permitted to study the same things or read the same books or even visit the same places while we’re abroad, just because I had the bad luck to be born a girl?”

The story is a bit of a mess, to be honest. It’s like nothing happens up until eighty percent of the story, and by that time I honestly couldn’t give a fuck. I mean sure, it had potential, but it was just Monty screwing things up, usually almost getting everybody killed, then he getting mad at them because they are not happy about almost dying because of him. Then a cure-all appears that could help Percy from his epilepsy even though he says over and over how he doesn’t want it, and Monty then gets mad because… Percy should have said no harder before he decided to ignore him and look for a cure because he couldn’t deal with Percy’s illness?


I don’t know. Monty does have a bit of character development at the end but not much and it’s the kind of development in which some things are either ignored or forgotten and it’s not so much development as it is convenient writing.


As for diversity, the book does have some interesting aspects, Monty is bisexual, his sister might be asexual and Percy is a black gay man with epilepsy. But… I don’t know, I love when a book is not a SJM and doesn’t write heteronormative whiteness, but I wouldn’t say the diversity in the book is an argument to read this book, especially considering how Monty is dangerously close to the “promiscuous bisexual” trope, and by trope I mean he freaking is. What the Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue will teach is some very obvious things about sexism, ableism and racism that you can’t possibly not know, unless you are Monty himself. Other than that? Not much, really. I see people recommending it because it’s such a diverse read but I don’t think this is something you can use to cover up the fact of having a boring story.


I really don’t know what to say, minus Victoria all of my Goodreads friends (and it seems all of goodreads!) have enjoyed the story, I guess we were just the odd ones out? Give it try! I hope you guys enjoy it better than we did.

The Queen of All that Dies by Laura Thalassa

In the future, the world is at war. 

For the last decade, King Lazuli of the Eastern Empire has systematically taken over the world. No one knows much about him other than a series of impossible facts: he cannot die, he has not aged since the conflict began, and he wants to rule the world.

All Serenity Freeman has known is bloodshed. War has taken away her mother, her home, her safety. As the future emissary of the Western United Nations, the last autonomous region of the globe, she is responsible for forging alliances where she can. 

Surrender is on the horizon. The king can taste it; Serenity feels it deep within her bones. There is no other option. Now the two must come face to face. For Serenity, that means confronting the man who’s taken everything from her. For the king, it means meeting the one woman he can’t conquer. But when they meet, something happens. Cruelty finds redemption. 

Only in war, everything comes with a price. Especially love.



RATING: ★☆☆☆☆


                              

Welcome! Enemies To Lovers is a segment of my blog where I focus on reviewing books that fall into this trope (as it is one of my favorite ones). The books can range from Fantasy to Contemporary and all they have in common is that the romance featured there is between two people who start out as enemies. Recommendations are more than welcome!

"I thought all women liked getting pampered?"
I narrow my eyes at him. "Do I look like the kind of woman who enjoys that?"

                               

It’s been a long time since I’ve written a review so my apologies if I’m a little rusty. Also, thanks to Minni for giving me such a cool list of books to try!


Enemies-to-lovers, if done well, can be one of my favorite tropes in a book. There’s something I love when a couple starts by knowing the worst about each other, they slowly begin to talk and realize they’re not so different, start a friendship and then (after a strongly consolidated friendship) move on to something else. That's why I wanted to start a segment on my blog where I dedicate to review books focused on tropes, and what better way to start with than with one of my faves? However, I’m well aware that, as it happens with any trope, when used poorly it can be god-awful.

I’m saddened to say that this is what happened with The Queen of All that Dies. Despite my hopes the trope was handled poorly. Add lousy characterization, no world-building and severe inconsistency, and you have one infuriating and confusing novel.

>>World-Building:
Let’s start with the basics; the world is at war (go figure). Some evil immortal King has taken over most of the world and kills anybody that opposes him. He’s poisoned the land with atomic bombs (that somehow only kill very few people?) and basically submerged everybody into chaos.

Our protagonist’s name is Serenity Freeman, probably a second cousin to America Singer based on their name and level of intelligence, and she’s at nineteen an ambassador to the entire western hemisphere alongside her dad.

I’ll say it right now, I have absolutely no idea of what the world is like aside from “bad”. Serenity speaks about representing the entire western hemisphere but apparently they lost contact with Latin America a long time ago due to atomic bombs causing the downfall of communication, particularly internet (although somehow it’s later explained that everybody has access to internet and that the rebels use it to try and bring and King down… I don’t know).

It is in situations like this, when presented with post-apocalyptic worlds that I often ask myself:

Where the hell am I??

I mean, for all I know all of the action is happening in the US. What about Argentina? Am I alive? Is Latin America at war too? Am I just eating popcorn and watching as the gringos die on TV?? Who knows? Certainly not Serenity.

As far as the book tells us, the entire western hemisphere consist on the people living in the bunker Serenity shares with her father, so… like a hundred people are all that’s left? How can she give away the entire hemisphere to the King when she only represents the US?? IF she even represents that much.

The enemy here is King Montes Lazuli (which I pictured as Monty Burns, sorry not sorry). All we are told is that the King is an asshole who wants to own the world because of… reasons and Serenity and her father are sent to try and negotiate a treaty; their hemisphere will surrender to the King bringing an end to the war. This, however, is all a hoax. Serenity explains how the king is a ruthless bastard, and the reason they hadn’t gave up before despite their lacks of resources is because what Montes does to his territories is even worse than what he does to his enemies. Later on in the story this is re-written and Serenity tells us how everything is good and wonderful in the King’s hemisphere and she can’t wait to help her people… I think it was a matter of edit, there are many contradictions in the novel.


>>The rape masquerading as romance:

Guys I’m going to be honest with you. If you read that summary and expect to find some steamy romance you’ll be disappointed. What you will find is a sixty year-old stuck-up homicidal creep preying on a nineteen year-old girl who, after hating him for 98% of the novel (and rightfully so), suddenly decides she is starting to love him for some unknown reason and without any indication on how or why it happens.

You see, the western hemisphere (aka a handful of people) wanted to send Serenity in the hopes that she would “seduce” or distract the King (it’s unclear what they expected from a nineteen year-old girl to do with an immortal guy who didn’t have any morals but, book logic). The minute the King sees her he knows that she’s “not like the other women he knows” because she’s brutal and savage and whatnot (she’s not). 

“The world doesn’t stop moving, the room doesn’t go quiet, but I swear something inside me just broke and reformed the moment she turned her devilish eyes on me-and that’s the only way to describe those eyes of hers. Devilish. She’s a wicked soul through and through.”

So, because the guy is a creep and the story just needed there to be romance, the King decides that he has to “have her” and that’s when the story starts going from clichéd-but-popcorn-entertaining to all shades of creepiness.

The people Serenity works for want her to use the interest the King has in her to their advantage and get a better treaty, one that would include healthcare and investments for the hemisphere so they could begin to improve their economy after thirty years of war. Serenity is clearly NOT PLEASED because the King is freaking creep who is obsessed with her, constantly touches her without her consent and, oh yeah he’s killed literally MILLIONS of people because he wanted power.

The thing about the King is that he’s not a tortured hero, or someone who does the wrong things for the right reasons or anything resembling a compelling anti-hero like the novel requires, no. The King is a freaking pedophile rapist who wants power because… he likes power, I guess. And for some unknown reason he decides he wants Serenity and nothing will stop him, not even the fact that Serenity hates him.

”You can’t have me Montes! Not ever!”
“My King,” a voice near me says, “should we administer the sedative?”
“I will never forgive you!” I shriek. “You hear me? Never!”
“I think that would be best.” The King’s voice glides over me like the smoothest silk. He’s not even listening.

After her father realizes the King wants to exchange a peace treaty for his daughter, the two of them try to escape the palace only for Serenity’s dad to be shot right in front of her as the King’s guards tried to take her back to him. She escapes, gives a speech ala Katniss that’s really rushed and out of place, and after being in bed for days after seeing her father brutally murdered in front of her eyes, she learns that her hemisphere made an agreement with the King in which they’ll give him Serenity in exchange for a better treaty.

So now Serenity has to go and marry the monster that killed her father as well as half of the world.

I stare at the general for a moment, not allowing myself to comprehend his words. And then they sink in. Bile rises up to my throat, and I barely have time to grab a nearby trashcan before I retch.

Needless to say the King is a freaking asshole. When Serenity has to see Marco again, the bodyguard that killed her father, she’s angry that the guy can walk away unscathed when her father died. But the King gets all touchy and says that it was all her father’s fault because he wouldn’t let his daughter by raped by the King, so if he hadn’t tried to protect her (and Serenity hadn’t escaped) then nothing would have happened.
In fact, he even goes on to shame her for killing the bodyguards that tried to capture her to send her to the King… after which Serenity agrees that he’s right and they are both twisted souls who understand each other… or something.

”That’s it? He kills my father and he goes unpunished?”
“Watch your words.” Now the King turns to face me, and his eyes flash. “You and your men killed and injured some of my best men, and you got a peace treaty and a promotion out of it.”

Yeap, it gets worse. After they marry (against their will, please remember that everything that happens so far is ALL against Serenity’s will), the King makes it clear that they’ll have sex even though she is disgusted by the mere thought of it. He then takes off her clothes and forces himself on her.

My movements are jerky and automated. I kiss the king, but I’m not really present. My skin crawls as his lips caress mine.[…]

“Still a virgin?” he asks.
“That’s none of your business.”
“I’ll take that as a yes,” he says, “which means it’s my job to make sure you enjoy yourself tonight.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“We’ll see what you say after all is said and done.”[…]

It’s so wrong it makes my skin crawl. A stray tear streaks down my cheek.
“I hate you,” I say to him.
“You won’t always feel that way,” he says, thrusting into me.
“I will. I swear it.”
“Give it up,” he growls, pushing into me harder. “The war is over.”
“Not for me. It won’t even be over for me.”

Look at that. WOULD YOU FUCKING LOOK AT THAT?? You can’t read that and tell me it’s romance, it’s freaking rape, that’s what it is. From that moment onwards Serenity feels like a traitor because her body reacts to the King. At some point, and don’t ask me how or why because CREEPY BOOK LOGIC Serenity decides she’s falling in love with the King and wants to protect him, putting her life at risk many times to do so.

The situation never improves, and I mean NEVER. It’s not like the guy has a change of heart and starts treating her right (which wouldn’t change a damn thing). Nope, their entire interactions consist of Serenity wanting to do something, the King not letting her so he threatens her and has his bodyguards drag her to her room and lock her up while she screams, kicks and threatens to kill someone.

That’s basically the entire “romance.”


>>The clichés, because what’s a novel without them?

The novel relies heavily on all sorts of clichés, but I honestly would have been ok with that if the rest of the book had at least been entertaining. Unfortunately, it’s not and so every time a new cliché would appear I just had to roll my eyes and sigh.

Let’s see a compendium of said tropes:

-Fate of the entire world relies on an untrained, unqualified and bratty teenage girl.
-The girl, of course, never sees herself as attractive. She’s tall, beautiful, blond, skinny because of radiation poisoning but somehow toned… so, basically a supermodel.
-Girl DOES NOT like clothes, makeup or anything girly. She’s a badass after all!!!!!!1!!!
-Childhood best friend is in love with her and she learns about it when she has to marry the evil guy.
-Dead parents.
-Nonsensical world-building.


>>The ending:

I don’t want to get into any sort of spoilers so I’ll be brief, but to me there was a severe issue with editing/writing and that really showed at the end.

As you read you’ll find a handful of inconsistency here and there (seriously, how can the world be fine with so many freaking atomic bombs being detonated ALL THE TIME?) but as we reach to the end there were a lot of things changed without warning to make the story work, such as the King’s conquered lands thriving under his rule when at the beginning of the book we were told that the surrendered lands were doing worse than the rebellious hemisphere.

Besides that, after Serenity marries him she still plans to end his life but when the opportunity arrives thanks to a rebel group, she’s actually SHOOK that people would think she wanted to kill him?? Serenity makes the rebels seem like terrorist because they want to end King Lazuli’s reign now that there’s finally world peace… but is she forgetting that the guy is a dictator that is basically leaving the entire world to die? I honestly don’t know where she got the idea that being submitted to a tyrannical and murderous dictator is conducive to long-lasting peace.

To sum up, The Queen of All that Dies had an interesting premise, but the lack of consistency in writing, the dumb character decisions and overall disturbing “romance” made this not a very enjoyable read, and I wouldn’t say it used the Enemies to Lovers trope well. It was just a creepy pedophile preying on a teenage girl.

Everything Wrong With ACOWAR- A Rant Review

Needless to say copyright belongs to CinemaSins, right?

Okay, I have two things to say:
1. When it comes to SJM’s books I always end up writing a 10K word-long rant where I put my heart and my annoying need to mercilessly criticize every single detail on page. BUT when I try to post it on Goodreads it ends up being too fricking long so I have to cut some parts out, and then I get mad at myself because I should have known better. So this review is going to be precise and to the point and if I want to complain some more have something else to say I’ll probably write really long and annoying blog posts devoted to that single topic.

2. I have given this a lot of thought and… this is going to be my last book by this author. I really enjoyed ACOTAR, it was the first book I read by SJM and the one that spurred me into reading her other series (huge mistake folks, huge mistake). But I realized I’ve come to a point where I… just… *sigh* fuck it, I just don’t care about anything that happens in these worlds. I don’t care about the characters, I don’t care about their immature romances, I don’t care if the world ends or not, if the evul Fae queens/Kings win or not (even though we know that they’ll die in the end and all the good guys will sing cumbaya). I keep picking up these books in the hopes that I’ll be as amazed as everybody else is so I can fangirl and get excited about stuff… and I don’t. Frankly, this series has become so wildly popular that the author can write any half-assed thought that comes through her mind (like ACOWAR) and it’ll become an instant best-seller. I don’t like her writing, it’s not interactive. Minni Mouse made a fantastic point in her review regarding this; with other books all characters are open to interpretation; some people will root for them, others will dislike them but overall the writing lets us think for ourself and make up our own minds on these characters. No such thing happens here, in SJM books she wants everybody to see the characters as perfect and beautiful as she makes them so she’ll grab your face and rub it into their specialness until you’re fucking drowing in it.

You can’t say that Rhysand isn’t perfect, you can’t say that the bunch of fake paid actors who play Rhysand’s unoriginal gang are all beautiful and selfless and would die for each other and blah, blah, blah. I hate this! I hate that we can only see things the way the author wants us, I hate that she puts so much effort into making us see how fucking white-bread perfect everybody is that she neglects the actual characters. Poor guys are as plain and interxchangeable as cotton underwear.

So, basically what I’m trying to say here (and I’m going to stop now before I get too carried away again) is that I’m tired and bored, and even though I like to write annoying reviews where I tear these books apart, a little part of my dark soul dies everytime I have to force myself into reading another page. I’m done, farewell!!! I’m sure I won’t be missed.

3.Last but not least, I’ve seen a good couple of reviews that start by clarifying that their negative review or rating is not meant as an offense or anything towards the author or the books, it is simply their personal opinions. These are all wonderful people who have received hate for having an opinion that diverged from the rest, now that’s awful! These people were just very politely and coherently trying to express their opinion of a book they did not enjoy. So I just want to tell everybody that may come into this review… that I’m FUCKING FULL of offense. I’m not nice, I’m bitter and annoying and my last fuck ran away with the last shred of my sanity (thanks college) so, if well I’ll try to analyze and I’ll do my best, this review will also contain a good deal of no-bullshitness. Be warned.


1. The book admits to be pointless in the first chapter.

ACOMAF ended on a big cliff-hanger; Feyre had become the High Lady of the Night Court, her sisters had been violated and turned into Fae against their will. Her friends had been tortured and a dude with God complex threatened to take over the world so, Feyre for reasons incomprehensible at the time (and later on because it made no fucking sense), decided that she would play spy and convince Tamlin that Rhys had mated her against her will so she could get information on Hybern’s army.

Now, the funny thing is that the super suspenseful ending was shit all over as soon as ACOWAR begun when Feyre pointed out that what she was doing was pointless.

[…] it would raise too many questions, undermine too many crafted lies that had kept him and his court-my court-safe.
Though I wondered if, after Velaris, it was even necessary. Our enemies knew of the city, knew it was a place of good and peace. And had tried to destroy it at the first opportunity.

Let’s be honest here, the ending of ACOMAF had a lot of potential, it could have been really cool to see the depths Feyre would go to help end this war, but we just never see it. All she ever does is complain about absolutely everything, smiling at Tamlin and Lucien and then muttering behind their backs about how much she hates them.



There was absolutely NO FUCKING LOGIC to this plan whatsoever. Here’s a step by step guide, in case you guys wanna try it out (please don’t):

-Play meek.

-Turn on the light bulb in your coochie during a sermon so everybody thinks you’re a goddess. They won’t think it’s frikky or a really stupid way to risk everybody knowing you “stole” powers from them. Nope, they’ll totally worship you because it makes real fucking sense.

-Screw over the lowly fae in Tamlin’s place and then give a sermon about how hard this is for you. Other people are not important unless they are related to the guy you’re screwing or can give you something that you want.

-You know that PTSD portrayal the author got so praised for? Shit on it and forget it so that you can go and make your abuser (the one you were rightfully terrified off) assault you so that people will feel bad for you. Fuck any sort of decent portrayal of abuse victims because it’s no longer necessary for the narrative. 

-Believing yourself so mighty and beloved that thousands of people will totally die for you, a stranger they have never met and who they may have heard about for only a couple of weeks. Who needs to work hard to gain people’s respect when you can simply believe that they owe it to you for no goddamn reason?

-Show your real intentions to Hybern’s people. I’m sure they will keep your secret, especially if they are incestuous and psycho relatives of him.

-Do not realize when you are getting poisoned even though it’s really fucking obvious.

-Get no useful information oh, and fuck up the court closest to the border. That way it will be easier for your enemy to cross the continent and kill all the humans you’re trying to protect.

-Basically, spend weeks wasting your time when there’s a war that will change the fate of the entire world going on. 



2.Calling this book feminist is like calling Trump a decent human being:

I guess some people would call this an exaggeration... and they wouldn’t be wrong. After all, everybody knows Trump is a piece of shit, but somehow these books just keep being praised as some feminist masterpiece when in reality it’s anything but.

I’m gonna be short because I get bored just thinking about this book, but let’s focus on what this book took as its token for feminist representation and that is the first High Lady in history.

Phyritian is a very misogynist land because... ehh... historical accuracy? (you know with the fae and shit) and so Feyre being a high lady is a HUGE thing, or at least the book will tell you that all.the.fuckig.time, Because it has never happened before. 

A woman being high lady of a court is somethig unheard off. Feyre is setting a statement by being the first woman to have such a powerful position. This is shown in the book both as part of Feyre’s journey to baddassery and to show readers what a “feminist” Rhysand is. And if you are wondering what the fuck does a guy have to do with a woman being a feminist icon for the masses, that’s because Feyre got her position as high lady because her husband gave it to her.

She didn’t earn it. She didn’t fight for it or was even qualified to become high lady. Rhysand loved her (for reasons still unknown) so he gave her the most powerful position a fae can have with no regards to her powers, abilities as a leader, or any other sort of abilities whatsoever.

”I made her High Lady,” Rhys said simply, lowering his hands from my face but not leaving my side, “because I love her. Her powers had nothing to do with that.”

So basically Feyre is like the boss’ daughter that gets hired to be manager at 18 with no studies or any sort of capabilities, bossing around people twice her age who are much more qualified to kick her ass.

This is fucking ridiculous! What’s the whole point of “yeah, high lady bitches! !!” when she just got the job because she screwed Rhysand?



3.The writing makes puppies cry:

I take a deep breath and fill my lungs with starving gulps of night-scented air. I am free, my friends- free of this Cauldron-forsaken writing that has been haunting my very dreams. A faint smile plays on my lips as I contemplate my work, for the person who is speaking now is not Mila The Bullshit Revealer, nor is it Mila The Foul Mouthed, but it is Mila The One Who Finished And Won’t Give a Fudge Anymore. A single star-blessed tear runs down the honeygold skin of my cheek, forging paths deeper than sorrow itself. How long have I longed for it-prayed for it, even? Weeks, yes, but it feels like eons ago since I began this journey that nearly took a piece of me, my patience. A shiver glides down my spine as I consider how so many males and females see in this writing a matter of good taste. How they praise Maas for the ellipses and dashes-so many dashes my friends, that I want to weep.
But my path is forged differently now- sturdier, brighter, all because this is over. This is not time for contemplation or bitterness, no- it’s time for liberation. I run to my shelf and give the book a vulgar gesture, the book has gone mad by now, I know it. It whispers of orgasmic star-births and wasted potential, but I have no ears for it anymore. “I’m free!” I purr, but instead of purring I speak because I’m a human and not a fricking cat, “I’m free and no other mate bond or chemistry-less couple by this author will ever have power over me. I have broken down my chains-chains that kept me locked up in despair and have nothing to hold me down, damn it!”


4.Feyre and Rhysand don’t love each other:

This is a no-brainer. Take away that annoying mate bond that was the excuse for Insta-love and what else is there between them?

Let’s face it the mate bond is the excuse Maas used to get these two together because otherwise they would never have fallen in love, wanna know why? Because you can’t fall in love with a cardboard, especially when you are a cardboard yourself. Feyre and Rhysand have no personality whatsoever, so what’s there to love besides their hotness?

It was funny because while I was reading this book, one day I talked with a friend who has been with her boyfriend for over five years. She had a very honest perspective on her relationship; you see she loves him but she knows people change and maybe the time will come when they won’t be together anymore. She doesn’t hope for that to happen, but she’s aware it’s a real possibility.

And then you had these two idiots, Feyre and Rhysand who have known each other for like, three weeks (not counting the times they spoke with the bond because they barely spoke anyways) and they talk about undying love and shit. If this were an ACTUAL relationship and not some magic-hormone-induced lust we all know they would break up in a month.


5.The ending was like Breaking Dawn but with more creepy mate bonds:

We’ve all read the happily ever after in which a super dangerous war that threatened the world had to be stopped by a family that tried to find powerful allies all over the world and, somehow through deux-fucking-machina they won. Well, you won’t get your Jacob-renesme (Jacobeesme? Reneecob?) but the stupid mate bonds are there and that’s all that matters. 

I don’t think anybody doubted that they would all live happily ever after, right? There were two people who did die but hen they were magically brought back to life, and so the story ends like a crappy after school special promising much more fun adventures to come!


6.Nobody gives a fuck about Nesta, she’s the Celaena of Fae world:

I don’t have much to say here because there really isn’t anything to add to the title. Fuck Nesta.


7.If something bad has to happen, you know it’s gonna be rape:

Why oh fucking why does every time something bad happens or is threatened to happen, it has to do with girls being brutally raped? We got TONS of horrific descriptions on how women had been raped and tortured, but absolutely none of these characters were given the time to actually be characters, instead of simply “bodies to be raped” so the author could show you just how brutal the world is, and while she was at it being praised for her portrayal of abuse victims (WHY?! For the love of God, fucking-WHY??!) but you know… she ran out of time to be respectful about it, you know? Like, she had to write Rhysand and Feyre being turned about screwing in a library full of abuse survivors!!!


8.Random things to talk about:

-Why the hell are some characters now having suddenly brown-gold or honey-gold skin when they used to be the palest of pales? (Yes I’m looking at you, Rhysand). Either they are wearing too much bronzer or SJM decided to change their skin color for the sake of diversity which is… really insulting. C’mon, is it really that hard?

-I was never really annoyed by the sex scenes, other than because they made me laugh and cringe at the same time. Is it weird that I don’t get why there are complains about it? Am I so used to it that I can’t see anything weird with it?



And this is all my friends! I promised I would keep it short and I did. Farewell SJM! It was a displeasure!!